I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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