Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
