I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
