she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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