singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
