it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
