I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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