i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
