so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
