Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Vodka?
Forever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
