this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
