I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
