the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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