sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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