I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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