So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
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I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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