You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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