we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
love makes seman taste better
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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