I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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