Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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