I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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