so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize