its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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