This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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