Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
