i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
