SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
