Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize