Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
