It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
