I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
