honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize