toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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