Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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