need another drink. this is the easiest way
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
