I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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