If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.