i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies