I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube