doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
