Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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