so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
