.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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