I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
