Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
