He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
