Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize