I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
