hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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