I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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