am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
