I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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