Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
