A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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