Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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