She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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