I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize