he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
