Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
