Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
