i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
